A problem shared is a problem half solved….

or is it?

PSA: there may be grammatical errors because I’m just penning down my thoughts as they come.

I’ve been boggled with a lot of thoughts these past few months, this week especially, but before I share them let me take you through how my day went and how I decided to write this. I woke up by 4am, oh- I mean my alarm rang by 4am but I stood up by 6:15am. Hello, stop judging me!

I hurriedly stood up to get ready for church. I had to be there by 7:15am because of membership class. Of course I could afford to take this risk because a 15 minutes ride in Abuja IS A 15 MINUTES RIDE. Lagos, I am forever traumatized.

“Here With Us” by Dunsin Oyekan blasted on my pink iPad A16🧍🏾‍♀️. I always wondered why the speakers were so loud….

Each time I listen to this song in particular my mind drifts back to the month of March. I was in a mental battle and oh how I wish it was just boy problems, I mean yeah that was part of it, but how I wish that was all.

I made a post on March 22nd, 2026 👉🏿 said post👈🏿 and I said I would be back to give a backstory to the picture and here I am. That Sunday I was enveloped with sadness, one I couldn’t quite explain. I still struggle with the words and merely thinking back is making me tear up. UGH FAVOUR WOMAN UP!!

I remember taking a ‘bathroom break’ at least 3 times before service officially started to cry and pray in tongues a bit (I think?, I don’t want to lie on here tbh). Anyway, I cried, crew, crode, and crewde because guess what? A devil on my shoulder kept telling me to go to the road opposite Eridan Event Centre and just stand there so everything could stop. I wasn’t suicidal no, but I desperately wanted the noise in my head to end. I lowkey still do sometimes but I’m in no hurry to meet my earthly father.

I promise I’ve not lost the plot of this. That Tuesday, a friend called me out on how I had withdrawn from everybody in my life at that moment. I believed I had to do life alone and that no one would really understand. I still somewhat believe this because no matter what you go through, I can only understand something through the lens that I’ve experienced it and not through the other person.

For example: I lost my dad when I had just turned 16, Becca lost her dad when she had just turned 16. Similar situations, different experiences. My situation can be used as a guiding stone to guide Becca, but it would be unbelievably unreasonable to expect that Becca experienced it the exact same way I did. Amen? Amen?

I remember that Tuesday, I had a call with a friend—(I wan disguise but na the boy problem😭). He’s still a friend I value and love! and I’m forever grateful for our conversation that day. He called me out on how I had unconsciously and maybe consciously withdrawn from everyone.

I called a few of my friends after that call and the rest is history. I may not have been able to properly explain that this was what I was going through, but I reached out for help.

Often times what looks like we’re doing life alone is complete segregation by the individual. It is okay to be vulnerable. It is okay that your friends can’t read your mind and they won’t unless the Holy Spirit nudges them. Communicate exactly how you feel unless you want to remain stuck in a cycle thinking no one cares for you. Often times, this is a lie.

And if you truly are doing life alone and you believe so, I pray God provides you with a community, a safe space.

To anyone who has had to deal with dark thoughts, self harm, heartbreak, confusion of purpose, sexual assault and all the other things I couldn’t name, I pray you’re never oblivious to the fact that the Creator knows of your existence. You have not been abandoned. He remembers you and loves you.

To give an answer to the question I asked previously; I think a problem shared is a problem unburdened, even if it isn't fully solved.

Shalom!😝